One-liners on Life
One-liners on life are short and sweet ways of having a good laugh at life's ironies. The following article on one liners on life will cover some of the best takes related to different aspects of life.
Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/one-liners-on-life.html
Life is full of many strange aspects that are beyond human comprehension. 'Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive' is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh. In this article, we shall read some really funny ones that will help you see why life should always be taken with a pinch of salt.
One-liners that Make A Difference!
There are many one-liners that help give the summation of life in just a few words. If you are sporting enough to happily put up a sign saying, "Mental backup in progress. Do Not Disturb!" on your desktop, continue reading. We have covered many one-liners that will help take away the mental block you may be currently suffering from and bring back the lost humor in your life.
The one-liners given below have been said by people like you and me. Life is full of surprises, so let us enjoy it and savor all its flavors happily.
Funny One-liners On Life
Once we had Clinton, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have Bush, no Cash and no Hope.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
"Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor." ― Steven Wright.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
Learn from your parents' mistakes; use birth control.
"Seven days without laughter makes one weak." ― Mort Walker
"Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence." ― Morris Kline
"My cousin is gay; in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies." ― Rodney Dangerfield
"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness." ― Emo Philips
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone!
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory." ― Steven Wright
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." ― Jerome K. Jerome
"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. " ― Robert Benchley
Humorous One-liners on Life and Love
They lived happily until they got married.
I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.
It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look!!!
One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to the others.
"Has there been any insanity in your family?" "Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."
"Why did you hit your husband with a chair?" "I couldn't lift the table."
"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one." ― Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.
"Whoever angers you, conquers you." ― Elizabeth Kenny
An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman; behind every unsuccessful man, there are two!
Every man/woman should marry; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
The wise never marry; when they do, they become otherwise.
Witty One-liner Quotes
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
"No good deed goes unpunished." ― Oscar Wilde
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional." ― Cindy Gerard, To the Limit
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Be generous to those who need your help.
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." ― Steven Wright
Sarcastic One-liners on Life
When climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt!
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
"Infants have their infancy; adults, adultery." ― David P. Barash
"Before you critizse someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critizise them you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." ― Frieda Norris
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." ― Earl Wilson
"Never miss a good chance to shut up." ― Will Rogers
"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it." ― Steven Wright
Sad One-liners
By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it.
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
Don't measure your life by how many breaths you take, measure it by how many times you get your breath taken away.
I rather lose a second in my life, than my life in a second.
Inspirational One-liners on Life
FEAR nothing.
Jealousy and envy are deadly to the mind.
"It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness." ― Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
Books are not men and yet they stay alive.
Whenever an individual or a business decides that success has been attained, progress stops.
"Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much." ― Erich Fromm
It is a wise child that knows his own father.
Making a bad decision is better than making no decision at all.
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ― Mother Teresa
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." ― Thomas A. Edison
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right." ― Henry Ford
One-liners on Attitude
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
No sense in being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway.
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
Some people are wise, and some are otherwise.
It's your aptitude not just your attitude that determines your ultimate altitude.
I fear my inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first." ― David H. Comins
If I throw a stick, will you go away?
I don't need your attitude; I have one of my own.
One-liners on Love
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
"Love goes toward love". ― William Shakespeare
"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven". ― Karen Sunde
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
I am someone else when I'm with you, someone more like myself.
One-liner Quotes On Life
Failure is always temporary, only giving up makes it permanent.
"A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier." ― Tom Stoppard
"Every form of happiness is private. Our greatest moments are personal, self-motivated, not to be touched." ― Ayn Rand
Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.
My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy.
"We spend the first year of a child's life teaching it to walk and talk and the rest of its life to shut up and sit down." ― Neil deGrasse Tyson
A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye.
"Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows." ― Helen Keller
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them." ― Kahlil Gibran
One of my favorite one-liners is, "Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking." I hope these one-liners on life managed to bring a smile on your face. This article was written with the sole aim to help you "Smile, it increases your face value."
Read more at Buzzle:myblobpravikuttzblodspot.com
One-liners on life are short and sweet ways of having a good laugh at life's ironies. The following article on one liners on life will cover some of the best takes related to different aspects of life.
Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/one-liners-on-life.html
Life is full of many strange aspects that are beyond human comprehension. 'Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive' is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh. In this article, we shall read some really funny ones that will help you see why life should always be taken with a pinch of salt.
One-liners that Make A Difference!
There are many one-liners that help give the summation of life in just a few words. If you are sporting enough to happily put up a sign saying, "Mental backup in progress. Do Not Disturb!" on your desktop, continue reading. We have covered many one-liners that will help take away the mental block you may be currently suffering from and bring back the lost humor in your life.
The one-liners given below have been said by people like you and me. Life is full of surprises, so let us enjoy it and savor all its flavors happily.
Funny One-liners On Life
Once we had Clinton, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have Bush, no Cash and no Hope.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
"Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor." ― Steven Wright.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
Learn from your parents' mistakes; use birth control.
"Seven days without laughter makes one weak." ― Mort Walker
"Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence." ― Morris Kline
"My cousin is gay; in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies." ― Rodney Dangerfield
"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness." ― Emo Philips
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone!
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory." ― Steven Wright
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." ― Jerome K. Jerome
"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. " ― Robert Benchley
Humorous One-liners on Life and Love
They lived happily until they got married.
I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.
It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look!!!
One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to the others.
"Has there been any insanity in your family?" "Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."
"Why did you hit your husband with a chair?" "I couldn't lift the table."
"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one." ― Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.
"Whoever angers you, conquers you." ― Elizabeth Kenny
An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman; behind every unsuccessful man, there are two!
Every man/woman should marry; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
The wise never marry; when they do, they become otherwise.
Witty One-liner Quotes
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
"No good deed goes unpunished." ― Oscar Wilde
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional." ― Cindy Gerard, To the Limit
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Be generous to those who need your help.
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." ― Steven Wright
Sarcastic One-liners on Life
When climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt!
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
"Infants have their infancy; adults, adultery." ― David P. Barash
"Before you critizse someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critizise them you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." ― Frieda Norris
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." ― Earl Wilson
"Never miss a good chance to shut up." ― Will Rogers
"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it." ― Steven Wright
Sad One-liners
By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it.
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
Don't measure your life by how many breaths you take, measure it by how many times you get your breath taken away.
I rather lose a second in my life, than my life in a second.
Inspirational One-liners on Life
FEAR nothing.
Jealousy and envy are deadly to the mind.
"It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness." ― Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
Books are not men and yet they stay alive.
Whenever an individual or a business decides that success has been attained, progress stops.
"Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much." ― Erich Fromm
It is a wise child that knows his own father.
Making a bad decision is better than making no decision at all.
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ― Mother Teresa
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." ― Thomas A. Edison
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right." ― Henry Ford
One-liners on Attitude
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
No sense in being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway.
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
Some people are wise, and some are otherwise.
It's your aptitude not just your attitude that determines your ultimate altitude.
I fear my inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first." ― David H. Comins
If I throw a stick, will you go away?
I don't need your attitude; I have one of my own.
One-liners on Love
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
"Love goes toward love". ― William Shakespeare
"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven". ― Karen Sunde
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
I am someone else when I'm with you, someone more like myself.
One-liner Quotes On Life
Failure is always temporary, only giving up makes it permanent.
"A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier." ― Tom Stoppard
"Every form of happiness is private. Our greatest moments are personal, self-motivated, not to be touched." ― Ayn Rand
Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.
My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy.
"We spend the first year of a child's life teaching it to walk and talk and the rest of its life to shut up and sit down." ― Neil deGrasse Tyson
A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye.
"Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows." ― Helen Keller
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them." ― Kahlil Gibran
One of my favorite one-liners is, "Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking." I hope these one-liners on life managed to bring a smile on your face. This article was written with the sole aim to help you "Smile, it increases your face value."
Read more at Buzzle:myblobpravikuttzblodspot.com
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